In rather shocking news I can reveal that Roy Flynn, 58, of Windsor Road, Wath-upon-Dearne, is potentially facing fines of more than £60 trillion, under the EU General Data Protection Regulation.
The regulations, which will become law next May, and will require consent for everything anyone does ever, leave data controllers liable for fines of €20 million every time they are breached.
Mr Flynn is known to be an active social media user, and a member of several local clubs, including the Wombwell Top Gear Appreciation Society, the Mexborough Real Ale Club and the Brampton Bierlow Fat Men on Expensive Bicycles Group. He regularly makes personal comments about people on web articles, posts Facebook updates about fellow members of these societies and repeatedly fails to use “blind copy” when sending group emails. It has also been reported that he uses an unencrypted Dell Inspiron laptop with anti-virus software that was last updated in August 2007.
Cyber security experts are now warning Mr Flynn that unless he downloads their GDPR White Paper and purchases their unique data discovery tool he will be liable for fines in excess of the total amount of money in the entire world. It is being suggested that this could cause significant disruption to his community activities.
However, when contacted by the author Mr Flynn would only comment “Bugger off you soft Southern weirdo”.
The Information Commissioner’s Office has said “we are aware of this incident and are making enquiries”. We expect to hear the outcome of these enquiries within the next decade.
The views in this post (and indeed all posts on this blog) are my personal ones, and do not represent the views of any organisation I am involved with.